"Hi, my name is Leah, and I'm a perfectionist"

So in very typical perfectionist style. I stopped blogging! The fact that I was not consistently sitting down and with great insight and humor, sharing my life with you all, had me just giving up entirely. It's a classic symptom of extreme perfectionism. Do it perfectly, or don't do it at all! I remember in high school, being called in to my guidance counselor's office to discuss my grades. He was trying to figure out why I was aceing every test and exam, yet failing all my homework. He soon discovered that I was not turning in my homework. I had managed to finish at least half of most of that homework, but in my perfectionist mind...it was better to take a zero than to admit that I had not perfectly finished the work. The counselor was exasperated with my explanation that I just could not turn in things that were sloppy or unfinished because I hated having my teachers think of me in that less than perfect light. Not turning in the assignment at all was at least a version of perfect. Perfectly wrong! He had to explain to me that when you average perfect and perfectly wrong, you are still failing! an A+ and an F - do not average out to a C. A 100% and a 0% average to a 50% which is still an F!!! I was shocked! So I began freaking out to make sure that all my papers were completed perfectly and 100%. There was no wiggle room. I could not depend on my zeros to average out in the end. No, now it all had to be perfect. So I stressed and freaked out and stayed up all night many, many times writing the Perfect (1 page longer than was asked for) essay. *sigh* perfectionist nature was not changed, but It worked for high school, and I passed and graduated with honors.

Now here I am. 13 years later, and the perfectionist streak is still plaguing me. I either have a perfectly clean house, or it is trashed. I am either spending an hour in gods word in the morning, or I haven't picked up my bible in a month...and I am either funny and insightful on my blog (with chosen pictures that show my house perfectly clean and my kids studiously working...my hair coiffed and clothes neat)...Or I do not blog at all...for over a year! Wow!!! well at least I am consistently ridiculous!

So...I try again. I am going to attempt to write at least one sentence a day on this blog for the next week. If I have the time for perfect and humorous...I will do that. It really does make me feel better to share my thoughts and laughter at my life with you all. But on the off chance that life happens...I will attempt to, in non-perfectionist style, at least post one sentence. I can feel my heartbeat speeding up at the thought of that imperfection. This will be a challenge. It will be great perfectionist therapy though.

"Hi, my name is Leah...and I'm a perfectionist."